Tips For A New Momma

When I was pregnant I would get advice from anyone and everyone. People at the commissary would comment and then go into all different things that worked for their kids. Just a few weeks ago a guy told me to get a leather key ring for Dominick because it's great for teething. With that said I think everyone wants to help and that's okay. Some tips that I learned and wish someone (or maybe that had) told me would be:

+You don't have to LOVE every moment, but cherish them ALL. It's okay to not love every second you are with your baby. It's okay to hand them to your husband when he walks through the door because they've been crying ALL day and you've done everything humanly possible and they're still crying. It's okay to really just hate getting up at 3 AM since you were just up at 1 or 2 too. With that said, it all DOES go by SO fast. That snuggly, squishy newborn will be an independent, can't sit still baby and you will be left wondering where the time went. Enjoy EVERY stage. There is good in all of them and just cherish any moment you have with your babies.

+Everyday is a new slate. Yesterday might have been a not so good one, but you've been blessed with a new day so do your best, hug your baby a little longer and a little tighter, play longer, do something special, leave the laundry to play outside and make new memories today. 

+Don't compare. It's hard not to, but there is no good that comes from it. Your child will develop and grow at his/her own pace. Don't compare your parenting to someone else's style. Do what's best for your family and for your own baby. It will make everyone's life so much happier and a lot more stress free.

+It's okay to not take a picture of everything. One of my biggest regrets is not having newborn photos taken of Dominick. I took a couple, but they're far from professional and I wish I had those pictures to remember his sweet, brand new look. With that said, it's also OKAY! It's okay to not get every picture of every place you have ventured to. It's okay that we didn't get a family photo when we were at the beach because sometimes our best memories are the ones in our memories. Put your camera down and enjoy being in the moment...but pick it up enough to have a picture of the really good 

+Love your spouse. Ryan and I are all we REALLY have here. We are a team and we mostly agree on all big decisions when it comes to parenting and that's totally key. We don't have many solo date nights, but we would rather spend time with our best guy because we are away from him so much. With that said we try to find other ways to show each other we love each other. Whether it's at night before bed we watch an episode of Greys and have a glass of wine/beer. Or something else. I will ask him for parenting advice and he may not have a CLUE, but he will google it or tell me to make my best judgement. We LOVE each other and try to always show each other.

Family Date Night

+Find a support system. When Dominick was born my parents were here and it was great having them here. My mom always made sure I was drinking enough water or had something to eat. She helped me in more ways than ever and it was a huge blessing. After they went home I started going to a mommy group (with my friends) once a week. It was great to be together, talk, get out of the house and be around other moms who all got what I was going through. When I had breastfeeding questions I could text them and they'd give me their best advice. When I had questions about a stage Dominick was going through they'd help me. I still have those ladies and we still talk all the time. They're the best.

+Get out and enjoy life. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean that you have to be confined to the walls of your house. It's okay to go to a restaurant with a brand new baby. It's okay to stay out past bedtime, because ya know what it doesn't matter if he goes to bed at 6, 8 , 10 or another time. More than likely when they're brand new they don't have a routine...so enjoy that and get out! We went to Buffalo Wild Wings when Dominick was maybe a month or two old. It was during a big game and he was sleeping. Everyone was cheering, yelling and screaming. He woke up as we were getting ready to leave. We never stopped living just because we added a baby into the mix. Now do we go to the club with our baby...of course not. Have we gone to a sport bar on a Saturday night and stayed way past all of our bed times...you bet we have! Dominick fell asleep at 9 and we stayed until past midnight. He slept the entire time and we never heard a peep from him again. Does that make us bad parents? Maybe to some of you, but he was comfortable, never stirred, enjoyed every minute watching sports and being with his favorite people (us and our friends) until he crashed and we don't do it every weekend so no I don't think we are bad parents. Having a baby makes your days BETTER. They're such a blessing. Dominick has got to enjoy college football games, bowl games, hiking, Las Vegas!, vacations, day trips and much more. All babies throw fits and cry every now and again and that's OKAY, don't be afraid of what other people will think, the stares you get or anything else if you don't expose them your child will never know how to act in public!

+Be confident and trust yourself. Be your babies advocate. Nobody knows your baby better than you. Do what's best for him/her. If something doesn't feel right go to a doctor, ask for help, figure out why. Trust yourself in making the right decisions.

+Love, Love, Love! There is no such thing as loving that baby too much. There is no such thing as loving your child TOO much or spending TOO much time with your baby. Love that baby with every ounce of your body. Be his/her biggest fan! S/he will be grown and out of the house before you know it. Take every opportunity to show them how much you love them and support them. 

DIY Cake Smash

A while back I was debating on whether or not I wanted to have a cake smash photo session and then my friend asked if I would take pictures for her sons cake smash. I did and after seeing them I decided I had to do them for Dominick too.

I had a few ideas in my mind and kind of hoped for the best. I think cake smashes that are done inside are always cute, clean, crisp and beautifully put together. They focus on the baby and minimal props. I however wanted Dominick's outside. I wanted it to be outdoors still with very few props...just my boy and his cake. I found a pin on pinterest on a DIY airplane cake (his birthday party is airplane themed) and figured I could at least tackle it. If all else fails I either a. buy one or b. make a plain jane circle cake. The cake shape turned out decent, the frosting of the cake looked ridiculous, but I don't think you can tell just how awful it really was. HA! In the end it was only for smashing, Dominick happened to love it and it worked for our little session. Ryan said it looked like a whale and my friend said it looked like an elephant laying down (hahaha). The session itself turned out just like I hoped. The sun was perfect, the baby was cute and the pictures turned out better than I hoped. Everything I had envisioned (without the professional touches).

So without further adieu here are his pictures...

Cake - DIY

Airplane Banner - DIY

Location - Neighborhood Park

Diaper - BumGenius Pocket (We actually don't cloth diaper. Sometimes at night time we will, but the majority of the time it's disposable)

Michigan To Dos

Only a few short days until we are back in Michigan and our "to-do"/"must see" list is growing and growing. Ryan doesn't get to stay the whole trip and he normally doesn't get to go back as often as I do so he has a few things that he is most excited about. Unfortunately I was not so smart and we lose a WHOLE day traveling, but it will all be okay. 

1. We are super excited to be going to the Tigers game the day after we arrive. Since we are flying into Detroit and they just happen to have a home game the day after we arrive. Yes, please! (We are staying a night there due to our late arrival and my parents are picking us up in the morning)

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Oh, hello Justin Verlander! 

2. When we lived in Lansing there was a tiny hole in the wall, cheap, best Chinese food EVER restaurant right down the road from where we lived. We would frequent there for lunch at least once a week. We go EVERY time we are in Michigan and we crave it when we are in California. No Chinese food we've had has compared to Chens.

3. Family pictures. At Edwards there is a whole lot of desert and not a whole lot of green. We have a session scheduled and we're pretty excited about it. I just imagine green for days, no desert and TREES (not Joshua trees). It's funny because we also have another session in California scheduled for later this year (for our holiday cards) in San Diego. Ryan and I said that it's one of our favorite places to visit and what doesn't scream Christmas like the beach? Totally kidding...but it's what we're doing.

4. A birthday party for Dominick. It worked out perfectly that we will be there around Dominick's birthday. I'm super excited that we get to celebrate his birthday with our closest friends and family. It also will be a good reason to have everyone together and see a lot of people in just one evening. My cousin's baby is also turning one while we are in Michigan so we will get to celebrate his first year with him. 

5. Our friends are getting married and we can't wait to see them tie the knot. We used to do double dates and hang out with them all the time. We miss them a lot and haven't had a chance to see them the last time we were in town (I was pregnant when we saw them last).

6. Pentwater. My favorite little lake town. My family has vacationed there every year that I've been alive...plus some! We haven't been in 3 years (since moving to CA) for those vacations and I'm dying to get back. It will be the first time Dominick has been there and since it's a favorite of ours I can't wait to show him around, visit the shops and be able to kind of be apart of my family tradition.

Pentwater 2008

Pentwater 2008

While there are more fun things that we have on our agenda those are what we are really looking forward to. We can't wait to be back in the Mitten, a place we love so much and with some of our favorite people. See you soon, Michigan!

My Goals As A Momma

When I was in high school and in college I was never really sure I wanted to be married OR have children. I was perfectly fine just being...I didn't feel like either was a necessity for me. With that being said I'm SO beyond happy that I got married and being a mom is my most favorite title. I would not give ANYTHING to go back to my pre-baby days.

Once I became pregnant I often wondered the type of momma I would be. My momma was an incredible role model so I hoped to be a mom like her. I often talked to Ryan about the goals I have as a mom and thankfully we are pretty much on the same page.

My goals as a mom are:

To be present - whether it is at school functions, sporting events or just everyday things like helping with homework, playing after school or simply just talking. I want to be present now and when you are grown and have moved away. I want to be there for every graduation, every accomplishment, your wedding or your babies being born. 

To be loving - I tell Dominick I love him all the time. I also smother him with hugs and kisses to the point where he will get annoyed at times because he'd rather be chasing the dogs or playing with his toys...but he also loves it. I never want him to doubt that he is loved. I also want him to know it's OKAY to be affectionate and say I love you. 

To have fun and create memories - EVERY day our house looks like a tornado ran through it. We have toys EVERYWHERE and I always tell Ryan that that means we've had a good time. I want to make forts out of blankets, have treasure hunts in the backyard or go to the park in the evening. I want to go places he will remember such as vacations, trips to Michigan (maybe even spend a week with his Gigi and Papa in the summer...if I can get the courage to send him without Ryan or I).

To show them a strong marriage - I want our babies to see that we love each other, that we support each other and that we are a team. I want them to know that it may not always be perfect and it may not be like the movies, but we do love each other 100%. I want them to find someone who will make them a better person, who will go through life's ups and downs with them, who supports them and someone who loves them more than themselves...and I hope they are that person for their spouse as well.

To be patient - just this morning Dominick was going at a snails pace eating his breakfast and I kept thinking...I wish he would hurry up. Stop talking to the dogs or playing with his food or just eat a little bit faster. I don't want to wish these moments away as I know they will be gone all too soon. I hope to be patient with them as they go through life. Sometimes I will get on Dominick and then I wonder why or I forget that he is only 11 months old. He is just a baby and a baby I will let him be...just like when he's 10...while he better not be doing the same things he's doing now, at the end of the day..he's just a kid and I hope to let him be one.

To be a teacher - and not just academically. Of course I want them to be smart and will help them academically, but I also want to teach them to be appreciative, respectful, honest, loving and to persevere. I want to teach them about the world around them and to not be closed minded. I want to teach them to be themselves and that it's okay to not follow the crowd. I want to teach them TRY to be better than average.I want to show them that no matter how much evil and bad there is in the world that there is still SO much good and to not lose hope. I want to teach you to be confident enough to pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes. I want to teach you it's okay to laugh and be silly. I want to help guide them as they find their something they're passionate about and I hope they will continue searching until they find it.

To be equal - while this doesn't really apply to me now it may in the future. My parents love my brothers and I equally...differently (because we are all different), but equally. I want that for my children. I want to be present in their lives EQUALLY. Everything will be equal as far as how many scoops or ice cream to how many books are read at bedtime to discipline and rules.

To be open - I want my children to feel like they can talk to me and to feel comfortable confiding in me. I don't want them to feel like they have to hide their feelings from me or keep secrets. I want them to tell me how they're feeling and that if they are struggling through something that they don't hold their emotions in. I hope my children know that no matter where we are or they are they can always come home.

To be their biggest fan - because if I'm not then who will be? I will be there to cheer for them at every milestone, when they win a big game or the math problem they were struggling finally makes sense. I will be there to give them a little nudge when they need it to continue working hard or cheer for them a little louder when the going gets rough. I will be there every step of the way. I WILL be there as they succeed in life.

I hope I succeed in all of these goals, I hope my children never doubt the love I have for them. I pray that they grow to be confident, strong, loving adults. I hope when they grow up that they find a person who will be their soul mate, the love of their lives and their partner through life. I dream that they will be the good the world needs and that they're successful...successful in their marriage, in their education, in their careers, as parents, as human beings. I hope they always see me as someone they can come to, whether it's to tell me their most recent crush or that they are hurting. I pray that I never take any moment with them for granted and that they do not grow up too fast. I hope when they're older they will think back and be able to remember that I was there for the school plays, parties, sporting events, mother/son (or daughter) days, vacations and just present in their lives. I hope they have good memories of their childhood. My biggest and greatest accomplishment is being a mom. My biggest and greatest goal is to be a good mom. 

Be All There

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I really needed to see this quote. Recently I've been feeling a little bit of homesick. We are going home at the end of this month and I'm assuming it's just the anticipation of being home.

Before Ryan and I left we were with friends or family probably 4-6 days a week. We went to work and school and then we hung out with friends. It was a given that we would be around our friends or family so much. It was something that I loved at the time, but I really took for granted.

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When we moved we realized how involved we were with our friends and family. That we had such good people by our sides and to support us. We also became really sad realizing we didn't have that when we got here. One of our first friends here really made us leave the house, got us out to do things and invited us over quite often and then they moved. When they moved summer was coming to an end and our first winter out here was definitely a game changer. It was cold (as in colder than Michigan some days), WINDY, no snow, we were lonely and spent the holidays away from our family. It wasn't all bad as we did start making more friends, learned we were going to be having a baby and finding our place in California.

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but I do not and will NOT cheer for the Pistons. I'm a Laker girl and that happened sometime in my middle school days. :)

I still call Michigan home. Michigan is our home. Our families are there. We still have friends there. Ryan calls California home. California is where we live...it's home. With that said, when we are there it doesn't feel like home. We miss our dogs when we are away, the walls of our house, our friends and the life we've made in California. While we love being in Michigan and have a taste of everything our lives once were it's just not the same mostly because people have changed, places have changed and things have changed. We no longer know the roads and how to get places like the back of our hands. We get lost when we go places in the city I spent 4 years living in and Ryan grew up in. So can I truly still call it "home"? I think I can...and I will, but truthfully home is wherever Ryan, Dominick and I are together...where our memories are made together.

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I think I will always miss Michigan, but I know it's a place I can always go back to and the people who matter most we will see no matter where we live.

Dominick - 11 Months

This months letter is VERY long. It's been a big month and he's done lots of new things that have to be included. Dom turned 11 months on August 3rd

Weight

Birth: 7 lbs 13 oz

3 months: 16.4 lbs

6 months:  19.5 lbs (weighed at home)/actual 18.6 (at the doctors)

11 months: 22-23 lbs (rough estimate)

  Length

Birth: 22 in

3 months: 24.5 in

6 months: 26.75 in

11 months: 28.5 in

Diapers

Size 4
Clothes

12 months and some 18 months

Eating

You eat 3 meals a day and get 2-3 snacks a day. You also 3 sippy cups of whole milk throughout the day, as much water as you are interested in and you are still breastfed in the morning and at night.

Sleep

You still sleep through the night. You go to bed at 8 and have had to wake up at 530 since Momma has been going to work earlier. On the weekends you'll sleep in until 7ish.

how big is Dominick? So big!

 Likes

Swimming
Blocks
Sliding down the big slides
Walking
Chasing Calli and Rocky
Bath time
The Playground
The water table

Howard - the oversized stuff dog

Walking with your push toy
Your momma
Playing with your daddy

Calli and Rocky
"Talking" on the phone

Eating

Going for Walks

Cords

The vacuum

Cell phones and remotes
Getting into the cupboards

Dislikes
Elmo/Cookie Monster Toy

Being put into your carseat 

Getting dressed

Changing your diaper

Getting out of the bath
Being woke up

Being told no or not getting your way

Being tired
Momma walking out of the room

 

Dominick,

This month has been such a big one for you. You've hit a lot of milestones and we notice you growing, changing and learning something new every single day. You are definitely starting to look like a little boy instead of a baby and while it makes me sad I find you more and more handsome with every passing day. I miss your rolls in your rolls and baby squishiness, but I often look at you and am mesmerized by your pure beauty...inside and out.

You celebrated your first 4th of July and you fell asleep for the fireworks. I was hoping you would be awake because I think you would have loved them. Next year for sure! On the 5th we headed to San Diego for the weekend and you had such a great time. We went to Coronado Island, the San Diego Zoo, Pt Loma and spent time together as a family (post to come soon). During that trip we would say "yay" or "woohoo" to you and you would scream like you didn't like it. It was quite comical, but since then you've started to clap and will occasionally scream. On July 6th you started to clap when we would praise you and you will also clap when we sing pat-a-cake or when you're happy and you know it you will clap your hands. You also will mimic us and it's so funny. If we stretch, you will too, laugh, you will do this great big fake belly laugh (like you just want to be involved in something funny), if we cough, yup you're doing it right there with us. Anything we do you try to do as well. On July 10th you started doing "SO BIG" and you raise your hands in the air if asked how big you are. It's pretty darn cute! When we give you an option between items you will point and sometimes will say this (dis). You also started to be an official walker sometime in the middle of the month. It was like one day you were standing and taking a few steps and then the next you were walking from one room to another, down the hall and chasing the dogs.

This month you've really started saying many more words and that has been so fun and challenging for your daddy and I. We talk to you a LOT and we try to get you to mimic us or to repeat us. Sometimes you do and sometimes you just look at us like we are crazy. The words we have no doubt that you say and will say all the time are dadda (might be your favorite word), momma, dog, bye, ball (bye and ball sound a lot alike, "ba", but you say bye when waving and sound like a little redneck and ball when playing so it's easy to distinguish), no and Papa. Like I said sometimes you will say this, key and truck and you will sometimes repeat Gigi (Didi).

You cry in the mornings when I drop you off at daycare and it makes it really tough. I think part of it is that you're still tired and part of it is that you don't want me to leave. After I leave you are fine, but it's still sad for both of us. You also are starting to do more and more stranger danger. You will turn and cling onto us if you do not know someone or don't want to go to someone.


You really, really love Travis, Mrs. Lauren, Mrs. Tina, and Mrs. Katie (your daycare provider). We are certain that Travis might be your favorite person behind Momma and Daddy. You will actually reach for him whenever he's around and you think he's funnier than all get out. He will just be talking and you will just laugh and smile.

There is one toy that you are absolutely deathly afraid of. It's a ball that has elmo on one side and cookie monster on the other. It vibrates and each character says something depending on which side is pushed. You HATE it. When you were smaller you would shake whenever it was played, but you got over it and didn't love it, but weren't scared of it. I thought you might like it now that you are older so I pulled it out for you and you were basically jumping out of your skin. You were in my arms, screaming and SO scared of it. Every time you saw it you literally broke down in tears. It was so sad and I'm honestly not sure what part of it makes you so scared, but it's sad (and kind of funny too).


If you don't want something you will throw it or if we are trying to give it to you you will try to hit it out of our hands and say no (you started saying no along with the actions above on the 28th so it's a fairly new "trick" that you do). Also if you don't want us to put you down or if you are upset you will arch your back and kick or push away from us (depending on what it is that you aren't happy about). If you see something that interests you or that you want you will point to it and will sometimes say "dis".

You are able to get into EVERYTHING. You love to stand in the kitchen and open and close the drawers. You will do that for a VERY long time. You also love to open the cupboards and close them. We don't mind most of the drawers, but there are 2 that we do not want you getting into. Same with the bathrooms, you do the same for both. You also have learned to flush the toilet and you think that's pretty darn cool. In your bedroom you will pull open your drawers and then close them again. I'm not sure why it's so entertaining to you, but boy do you love to do that!

 You will also sit and "throw/roll" the ball back and forth to us. You really think that's a good time. You also love to play with your blocks and will put them in the strangest places. You have put them in your gumball machine and one night when we were cleaning up your daddy thought one might have been stuck in there...he was able to get it out. Gigi also bought you a set of Little Einsteins tiny board books before you were born. You love to take those around with you and will look at them and chew on them. You will pull all of your books off the shelves and just look at them. As soon as we try to read them to you you do NOT like that so we try every night, but most of the time is unsuccessful. We would get very frustrated, but you were too so it was a lose-lose situation and nobody ended up happy. You sleep with two loveys, a dog taggy "blanket" thing named Buddy and Snugalug, your bear from Gigi. Snugs is your favorite and you wrap your little arms around him and hug him every chance you get. If we sing Taio Cruz's some Dynamite to you you will dance...or if you hear any music you will dance. And you love for us to sing you songs. We sing a lot of pat-a-cake, the wheels on the bus, the itsy bitsy spider and a few others. In the evenings whenever you hear your bath being run you come into the bathroom and kind of "jump up and down" without actually getting off your feet until we undress you and put you in. You love bath time and most of the time you do NOT like getting out, but are getting better with not throwing fits.

We really don't let you watch much TV, but sometimes on the weekends you get to watch Elmo, Veggie Tales or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You will watch for 10-15 minutes and that's about it. TV just doesn't interest you and I'm not going to lie, it doesn't hurt my feelings in the least bit since there are so many other fun and or engaging things we could be doing instead. With that said, sometimes 30 minutes of quiet time would be nice here and there. You are just too active for that.

Like I said above you eat 3 meals a day and you are such a great eater. Your daddy and I are always surprised by how much you eat and you totally impress other people as well. If we go out to eat we will normally order you a meal of your own, but we will sometimes just give you some of ours if we don't like the choices on the children's menu. We've also started giving you a spoon to use at dinner and sometimes you will pick it up and put it in your mouth and others you will just play with it or just use your hands. You use a playtex insulator sippy cuppy and you seem to like that one the best. It's funny the amount of cups that we've bought for you to find the "perfect" one. You will drink water or milk from this. 

You are still in swim class and have been for a while. You still go once a week and its such a big time for you. You truly have so much fun and are becoming such a good little "swimmer" you can go under water, blow bubbles, and aren't drinking nearly as much water anymore.

I've said this numerous times that I am in love with every stage that you are in, but this is by far my favorite. It's surpassed every other stage by miles. I love that your personality is so big and the little boy that you are. This time in your little life is SO fun and I am totally in love with this stage of life. You seem so much more grown up than what you are and I just want to keep you little right now.

Dominick you are one stubborn, strong willed, opinionated, happy, loving, sweet, comical little boy. You make me so proud to be your momma and sometimes I wish I could just stop time and keep you this little guy for many moons, but I truly cannot wait to see what God has in store for your and watch your story play out. I am confident that you will do great things in your life and I can't wait to see all that you accomplish. Next month you will turn 1 and while it kind of hurts my heart it's such a big event that I'm so excited to celebrate with you. I know that I was MADE to be your momma and that you were meant to be mine and your daddy's. You are so loved little guy and I hope you always know that. My love for your grows and grows. 

I love you to the moon and back, 

Momma

Congratulations, Ryan!

Yesterday the listing for SSgt promotion results came out. For us it was at 6:00 AM and it was a day we had been anticipating since May 2nd. Ryan had an early promotion for SrA, which you may remember my post from here. Since he was promoted early he obviously was able to test early for SSgt. He wasn't really sure what to expect going in, but we hoped and prayed for the best and said it would be okay if he didn't pass his first time testing.

after BMT graduation

Ryan started studying back in January for an hour or so a night and then prior to the test he took 16 days off of work to hit the books. Like I said we were hopeful since he really truly did work so hard and did put so much effort into studying. It would have been fairly disappointing had he taken all that leave, put all that effort in and came up short (which DOES happen).

His test was May 2nd and after he was finished he sent me a text letting me know he had completed. I asked how he thought it went and he couldn't even really tell me, but it was much harder than what he had thought. He went through his books again since the test was so fresh in his mind to see if he could get a better idea. He thought he had done fairly well on one portion and decent on another. So from there the waiting began. Thankfully, we have great family who has been praying for (Ryan) us. I kind of let it slip to the back of my mind until recently.

Last week Ryan let me know that the selection rate had dropped something like 12%. He told me he didn't think he had a chance with the new numbers MAYBE with the old, but definitely not with the new. We were disappointed, but it is what it is. He put his best effort forward and we both knew that. He was preparing to start studying again and start the process all over. I wast trying my best to tell him not to count himself out and that it could still happen.

after the promotion ceremony for SrA

Well yesterday at 6:00 AM we found out that Ryan actually MADE Staff. His name WAS on the list and it was a complete and udder shock. Yesterday at 6 in the morning Dominick and I had a small dance party, there were high fives, clapping and a lot of cheering happening in the Boutwell house. His line number is in the 9000's, which is to be expected. He scored the 7th highest in his career field and beat out 97% of others that tested Air force wide. We were on a complete high yesterday (him more than me).

RyRy,
I am so incredibly proud of you! Your work ethic, hard work and determination are a few of the things I love the most about you. You so deserve this and it's super, super exciting to watch you succeed with your career in the Air Force. I never imagined this life that we are living, but I am so glad that I get to experience this all with you. You are destined to do great things and I'm so glad I get to cheer you on through all your accomplishments. Dominick and I love you and are super proud to be able to call you my husband/his daddy.

Love,
Al