The Lucky Ones

Last night Ryan and I were laying in bed talking. We used to do this all the time, but it seems like as soon as our heads hit the pillows these days we are quickly off to dreamland. I miss these times because we would have some of the best conversations.

Yesterday was not a bad day per say just not a great day. Dominick slept well, I was 10 minutes early for work (which if you know me it's a miracle) and work went by relatively quickly, those are all GREAT things. It was just one of those days where I missed my family, I missed my friends, I miss the snow that comes with the cold weather, I was missing familiar things and to top it off I didn't have 3 of the ingredients I needed for dinner (however it turned out to be pretty decent). I sent Ryan a text during the day telling him to ask the AF to move us someplace really stinking cool and to give him orders that day. While in all reality we will be in CA for at least another year if we're lucky...probably 2+ if we're being realistic. On one hand we can't wait to move; we've been ready to leave since we got here, but our friends, the opportunities and the sites have made this place bearable. It was just one of those days.

Anyways, last night we were laying in bed. Dominick was sleeping in his pack n play next to us. We were both on our phones setting alarms and checking e-mails one last time. I put mine down and I said, "ry, I don't want Dominick to grow up (For a side note: this has been a battle of mine since he was born, in fact in my SUPER hormonal days after having him I was crying one morning after I got out of the shower. Ryan came in to check on me and asked me what was wrong. I said I don't want him to get any older, I want him to stay small forever. Dominick was only a week old). Right now, we go on adventures together, I'm his #1 person, I don't annoy him I make him laugh, he wants me around...like always. When he gets biggers he's not going to want me on his adventures and I will annoy him and he most definitely won't want me around all the time and that makes me sad." Ryan said, "But you can't be sad about that, just enjoy him right now and the stages that he goes through. He's happy, he's loved, he's HEALTHY and what could be more important than that? You'll always be important to him and even though you won't be going on those adventures TOGETHER, he'll still let you be apart of them." We laid there a little while longer, me pondering that and trying not to be sad and I think Ryan went back to doing things on his phone. I eventually said, "Ry, do you ever think about how lucky we are? How truly blessed our life is?" He replied with a simple and short, "yea, all the time." It made me smile because he rarely says things like this. He's so reserved with his feelings and emotions that he would never just tell me these things or would jokingly say something to lighten the conversation, but this time he didn't. He was serious and I loved that.

Regardless of the small things, we are blessed. Our life is far from perfect and we do have bad days, but our good days outweigh our bad. We are the lucky ones.